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I went to pick my car up from the workshop yesterday,
the man was on the telephone, I overheard him say:
“I’ll take that two-week cruise as I’m about to get some dough,”
and then he saw me standing there and said: “I have to go!”
He handed me my keys and said: “Your car’s as good as new,
it’s lucky that you came in now, before that motor blew,
the pistons were all blistered and the valve stems shot to hell,
the manifold was old with holes, and ugly plugs as well!
“The oil had boiled because it was a lump up in the pump,
loose rings had worn the kingpins down and dumped them in the sump,
the crankshaft and the petrol tank too rusted to repair,
and damn it if the camshaft wasn’t jammed by bearing wear!
“Your carby’s far beyond recall, the jets too wet and thin,
the diff was iffy, so I fitted pin replacements in,
the CV joints were pointy and your front end bent and old,
it’s lucky that I stock your make of intake manifold!
“I couldn’t take the risk, your disc pads had to be replaced,
transmission bolts were faulty and the fluid thick as paste,
then third gear nearly broke, then first, and then I lost reverse,
I put a whole new gearbox in, as second gear was worse!
“Your steering wheel appeared to be in need of special care,
the seat belts felt all shot, I got a neat new front-seat pair,
the clutch was much the same and all the headlights seemed quite crook,
I think the blinkers might be too, but didn’t dare to look!
“The pinion rack lacked tension and its screws were all bad news,
my alternator tester says that yours had blown a fuse,
the bonnet lock was shocking and the doors were poorly done,
I changed the hinges, handles too, they’re just like new, old son.
“I sprayed the radiator out, and filled the anti-freeze,
adjusted all the air-con ports to twenty-three degrees,
I nuked the duco with some special crack-resistant wax,
you owe me seven thousand bucks, including federal tax!”
Considering I’d booked it in to fit a speakerphone,
I figured this excessive, but I didn’t like to moan,
I wrote a check and drove home feeling like a stupid jerk,
the car was running smoothly but the cellphone didn’t work!
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| | AUDI SISTERS 22B | |
|
+3gaz0x VWAG Bora 20v chevy88 7 posters | Author | Message |
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chevy88 VWAG Ad & Graphic Manager
Posts : 249 Join date : 2009-08-21 Age : 57 Location : New York, US
| Subject: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:32 am | |
| | |
| | | chevy88 VWAG Ad & Graphic Manager
Posts : 249 Join date : 2009-08-21 Age : 57 Location : New York, US
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:39 am | |
| Hey guys this is Porscher's Monkey series. There is the Grease Monkey, the Dirty Monkey and the Brass monkey! Thanks to Chevy88 for the pics, paint by Gaz 0x, Inspiration by Porscher! The Grease Monkey! The Dirty Monkey! The Brass Monkey! And here is the Monkey Madness Golf I painted for rinkly! | |
| | | VWAG Bora 20v VWAG Race Team Captain
Posts : 388 Join date : 2009-09-15 Age : 53 Location : North East Midlands UK
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:44 pm | |
| WOW I love these, we gotta get these babies out there! | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:49 pm | |
| Agreed, they look the dogs danglies. I may have a good tune to go with them as well if youd like. Its a B Class tune for Mazda Laguna. Still got a little tweakin to do but can have it ready for next weekend if youd like it. |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:04 pm | |
| There is gonna be a tune for each, A, B, C and they all need testing! | |
| | | VWAG Bora 20v VWAG Race Team Captain
Posts : 388 Join date : 2009-09-15 Age : 53 Location : North East Midlands UK
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:23 pm | |
| oooo...oooooo can I test one please, C or B class preferably.......pretty please with cherries on. | |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:12 pm | |
| - bora20v wrote:
- oooo...oooooo can I test one please, C or B class preferably.......pretty please with cherries on.
OK! Keep your pants on! lol! Steve will sort you out with the B or C class. I have the A class if anyone wants it... | |
| | | VWAG Bora 20v VWAG Race Team Captain
Posts : 388 Join date : 2009-09-15 Age : 53 Location : North East Midlands UK
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:32 pm | |
| pants?????? I dont wear any, I like the natural feel haha | |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:45 pm | |
| - bora20v wrote:
- pants?????? I dont wear any, I like the natural feel haha
Thanks Andy, I really didn't need that picture in my head! | |
| | | Admin VWAG Admin
Posts : 1619 Join date : 2009-05-22 Age : 56
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 1:48 pm | |
| - Gaz 0x wrote:
- bora20v wrote:
- pants?????? I dont wear any, I like the natural feel haha
Thanks Andy, I really didn't need that picture in my head! Whys that he took your mind of betty??? | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 5:50 pm | |
| I'll give the A class a run fella. What track is it tuned to? |
| | | Admin VWAG Admin
Posts : 1619 Join date : 2009-05-22 Age : 56
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:33 pm | |
| she has tuned them for all tracks. just to repeat i didnt help in anyway with theses, she has found her own way to tune, and it seems to work. Only help been given is me and gaz tested them and gaz was given there paint idea to change it to a proper paint people would want to buy. | |
| | | rinkly noob
Posts : 9 Join date : 2010-01-04 Age : 85 Location : seaford south australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Fri Jan 08, 2010 8:39 am | |
| maybe you could have mentioned Monkey Madness i recon it looks ooooorsome but then i am proud to drive it.Thanks Guys | |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:26 am | |
| - rinkly wrote:
- maybe you could have mentioned Monkey Madness i recon it looks ooooorsome but then i am proud to drive it.Thanks Guys
Thanks rinkly, If you want to post a pic up here of your monkey Golf, then go for it! I would post them, but I cant get in my SF to make room for new pics! Dammit! | |
| | | rinkly noob
Posts : 9 Join date : 2010-01-04 Age : 85 Location : seaford south australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:33 am | |
| how do i get photos from xbox to here .driving semis and coaches was easy computers ooooopps. | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:55 am | |
| You need a photobucket account mate. Go Here - www.photobucket.comOnce youve created your account you can up load your photo there and it will give you an image tag underneath it. Copy and paste the IMG tag into a post on here. |
| | | rinkly noob
Posts : 9 Join date : 2010-01-04 Age : 85 Location : seaford south australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:41 am | |
| photobucket not accepting my email & password . im very trying but i do try | |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 11, 2010 9:54 am | |
| - rinkly wrote:
- photobucket not accepting my email & password . im very trying but i do try
Rinkly, maybe check your email inbox, you may have to activate the account before it will accept your password. Just follow the prompts after you open the email from photobucket. | |
| | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:15 pm | |
| I just added the monkey madness Golf to the OP rinkly! | |
| | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager
Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 44 Location : Northwest UK
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:59 am | |
| - CRA2Y RANGER wrote:
- You need a photobucket account mate. Go Here - www.photobucket.com
Once youve created your account you can up load your photo there and it will give you an image tag underneath it. Copy and paste the IMG tag into a post on here. Just a tip for all the best photo hosting I've found for forza is Flickr. It keeps the quality of the image and when your trying to sell cars the quality of the image can make or brake your sales. All the best | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: AUDI SISTERS 22B Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:09 pm | |
| photobucket or flikr |
| | | VWAG YoungBlood VWAG Tuner
Posts : 59 Join date : 2010-01-11 Age : 30 Location : Redding, California
| | | | gaz0x VWAG Shogun Assassin
Posts : 991 Join date : 2009-05-23 Age : 50 Location : Brisbane Australia
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